The Problem is People are Being Hated When They are Real, And are Being Loved When They are Fake.

Problem with people is this

Today people are living a pretentious life. When you are surrounded by people who are pretentious and can flawlessly flaunt a fake smile, you might have to join them. It is rightly said that “be a Roman when in Rome” or “if you can’t fight them, join them.” These days no one is entirely true to themselves; forget about being true to others. It is what is causing people to have trust issues and get confused when differentiating the right people from the wrong ones. Someone might be really nice to you but just might hate you secretly. Similarly, people go out of the way to woo you to get their work done or because they have vested interest in wooing you and may turn once their job is done. 

People are afraid of showing their true selves to people because they are afraid and not confident if other people would like them as they are. It is a kind of social epidemic that has taken over the planet, and everyone you come across put on a shield around them so that you cannot peek inside them. It is this synthetic behavior we are used to watching every day in our life in our interactions with others. And, somehow, we have gotten used to it as well. It is because we crave attention, love, and respect. Everyone has a dark side, and most of us are too afraid to let that out. We are insecure that if people come to know us inside out, they might choose to part ways. We have become so insecure that we hide not only our dark side but also our positive side as well at times because we feel it might make us vulnerable.

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For example, many people don’t like to party often or go out often and are introvert in nature. However, many people usually take it otherwise and may feel that you are trying to ignore them by refusing the invitation or not hanging out often. It is this anticipation of misinterpretation that often compels people to be what they are not. You might want to read a good book and relax in your cozy home and enjoy a hot cup of coffee on a Sunday morning, but others may ask you to join them or want to come over to drink and party. It becomes difficult to say ‘No” often, and hence, people have to come out of their comfort zone to please others.

fake people

Similarly, many times, people often appease you and agree to everything you say. It is natural for people to like when others try to appease them or agree with your thinking, beliefs, and opinions. Many people have wrong intentions behind such fake nature and often succeed as well because they are hiding their true selves. For example, an employee who hates his boss but continues to agree with everything boss says, appease him by giving gifts, and say yes to everything boss commands, is often the employee being fake to get a promotion or appraisal. The employee is unable to have his own voice and is forced to be something he is not to get ahead in life.

Somehow, people are unable to tolerate the realness these days and have to go with the flow under peer or social pressure. The social dynamics have changed, so dramatically in recent years that is has become hard to filter out negative from positive and vice versa. People these days say things they don’t mean and do things they don’t want to so naturally that it becomes hard to doubt their actions. If you are rich, wealthy, and beautiful, how will you know the guy who is bringing you gifts, taking you out for dinner, writes you poetry, makes you feel special, and is romantic to the very core – is being real or not? The guy might be after your money and may have no feelings for you at all. Is it possible – Yes? Is it true or not? It is the question the answer to which you have to find yourself.

Read: Treat People the Way You Want to be Treated. Talk to People the Way You Want to be Talked to. Everyone Deserves Respect.

When a person doesn’t have a voice of his own or doesn’t take a firm stand on anything or doesn’t have a fixed values-ecosystem to why he abides by – that person is being a fake. Question their integrity and values and stroke their logical reasoning, and you’ll get the real answer you’re looking for. People hide their real selves until they are able to get what they’re looking for, and it is such characteristics that have led to so many broken relationships and disrespect of love on every front these days. The disruption that has occurred in society in the last few decades has set unreal standards that people believe they have to live by to get what they want – whether it is personal or professional life. And, it is what causes people to be what they are not. The onus is on us to give people that due space and comfort, they need to be free and real.